


Hurts Like Hell

by bisexualbarry



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drabble, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, M/M, No Dialogue, like holy fuck, some flash season 3 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 16:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15076838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualbarry/pseuds/bisexualbarry
Summary: How can I say this without breakingHow can I say this without taking overHow can I put it down into wordsWhen it's almost too much for my soul aloneI lovedand I lovedand I lost you





	Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> hi, ive been wanting to write something sad for awhile, but nothing really came to me. and then the line "should've seen it coming" popped into my head last night for whatever reason, so i started writing with no real plot in mind. then everything with savitar popped into my head, and _boom_ , this was born
> 
> i actually love writing angst, so i hope i did okay?? lol

He should've seen it coming.

But he wasn't fast enough.

At the beginning, Barry had this feeling of dread hanging over him, like a dark cloud about to break, pouring down rain like there was no tomorrow. With the circumstances surrounding both him and Oliver lately, however, Barry paid no mind to it. If there wasn't a bad feelings set deep within his bones, leaving him on edge with everything going on, then he'd be worried.

Underneath his skin, there was a soft buzzing of energy. The speedforce was always there, and always would be. It would always be something that was apart of him. He knew that, but even so, sometimes it felt like it was working against him.

His heart was racing in his chest, in a way he was certain wasn't from being a speedster. No, it was from the feeling of desperation as he pushed his hands against a bloody chest, trying his hardest to stop the bleeding. The eyes of his lover were growing heavy, lips open as he breathed choppy breaths. Barry was doing everything in his power, tears flooding his eyes as he begged Oliver to just _keep his eyes open_.

Everything around the two of them was a dull noise, actively being blocked out as Barry kept all his focus on the one task. At that point, he didn't even care if they got Savitar anymore. If he became the god he was so dead set on becoming, the laughter of Killer Frost dying off from the rush in his ears. His hands grew a darker shade of red than the gloves he wore on his suit, stained with Oliver's blood that _wouldn't stop_.

Vaguely, Barry could feel a hand on his shoulder, saying something that Barry couldn't make out. He noticed, a bit late, that everything around them was still. Savitar must've taken off when he realised Barry was distracted enough not to go after him. All Barry could even think about focusing on was the man on the ground, slowly bleeding out.

Barry felt like cursing Oliver, for _getting stabbed by the damn evil speedster_ , and then himself when he realised Savitar had changed tactics and was no longer set on his plan of killing Iris. No, not when Oliver was already there, alone and unable to anticipate a speedster coming up behind him. Unable to register that he was going to be stabbed until the piece of sharp armor had already pierced through his body. Savitar had moved his body from where Oliver was hiding, putting him down in front of Barry like he was a trophy to be displayed. A _look what I did and you were unable to stop me from doing_.

It had never made sense to Barry until that moment. While he cared for Iris, her death wouldn't destroy him completely like Savitar wanted him to. No, only the death of his fiancé would get the end result the evil speedster wanted. A life without Oliver hadn't even been an option, in Barry's mind. Even though in their lines of work, _something_ was bound to happen at some point, Barry was _very_ good at ignoring the inevitable.

Pressing his lips to Oliver's, Barry sobbed as he slowly accepted what was happening. Oliver reached a hand up to tangle in Barry's brown hair, his cowl having been pushed down moments prior. Barry was crying hard, and there were a few tears in the archer's own eyes as they mumbled weak promises to Barry to keep. Everybody else was around them, trying to give them space, but also wanting to be near Oliver before he slipped away.

Barry only cried harder as Oliver's touch grew weaker before he slipped away completely. There he was, the man Barry would do anything for, _the man he was supposed to marry_ , gone. By a future time paradox version of himself, hell bent on being a speed god. Barry weakly hit at Oliver's chest, trying to get him to come back alive, with no results. His vision was blurry with tears as he sat there weakly, cursing at everything in the world.

Never again would he hear Oliver's laugh. Never again would he feel his strong arms wrap around him as they fell asleep at night. Never again would he kiss Oliver and show him how much he loved him; how much the man meant to him.

He couldn't focus. Not really. Everybody had cleared away, collecting their things and cleaning up what they could. They gave Barry his space for the moment, letting him spend just a few moments more with the man that was going to be his husband. Their wedding was supposed to be that summer, surrounded by family and friends as they declared their love for one another in front of a sunset full of oranges, yellow, pinks, and reds. Barry wished, desperately, like he had after Henry's death, and go back in time to save Oliver. After learning his lesson with Flashpoint, he knew it was fruitless. It wouldn't change anything, and even if he knew the knowledge of Oliver's death beforehand, there was little he could do to stop it. Savitar had lived through this pain already.

He wished he had been able to focus more on Oliver than Iris, but he supposed that had been Savitar's plan all along. If his focus was on saving someone else, then he could very easily get to the real person he was after. Trying and planning everything they could to save Iris instead of Oliver gave him an easy opening. It was a flawless plan, Barry had to admit.

But, even so, it didn't make the huge ache in his heart ache any less. His once racing heart had slowed, felt like it wasn't even beating anymore with how heavy everything around him felt. It felt like the gravity was slowly coming down heavier on, trying to squeeze him until he was lying next to Oliver. Briefly, he wished it had been him who died instead of Oliver, but he knew the older man would never want him to feel that way. Never want him to wish he was dead, and instead move on.

But he couldn't. And he never would be able to. Too busy blaming himself for being the reason Oliver had died. Too busy cursing himself out for not figuring out Savitar's plan sooner.

He should've seen it coming.

But he wasn't fast enough.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated!
> 
> [my tumblr](http://lovelylerman.tumblr.com)


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